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Yes, I own a Dyson and it’s almost the bloody best piece of equipment in my house. I also do remember the days before it and I did not enjoy them at all.

However, just because you’ve revolutionised daily life, doesn’t entitle you to sit in an ivory tower and act like an ass. The Dyson creator, in what I can only assume to be sheer paranoia has taken to spying on staff members to ensure his technology isn’t ripped off by competitors. To add insult to injury he’s also made mention that if you’re not his consumer, you’re, well, living in the dark ages.

So let me get this straight James, it took you a whole 16 years to get your ball-hoovers on the market and you’re implying we’re stupid?

James Dyson, you suck!

How Two Live

July 1st, 2013 Permalink

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These girls have tapped into the tender psyche of the teenage girl headed into adulthood and they are fucking them right over. THIS IS NOT FASHIONABLE ATTIRE, this kind of dressing is classed as visually arresting in the way that requires padded walls and standing in line to take a cup full of pills everyday kind of way. No normal humans wear this and thinks they are a functioning member of society. Shame on you Jess & Stef.

I can’t help thinking they have suffered a terrible eye accident and don’t realise they are dressed like fruitloops, I base my opinion on the choice of header image on their blog

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Must’ve been a pretty bad accident…

Daft Punk

May 22nd, 2013 Permalink

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Well played Daft Punk, well played.

First you had us all in a flurry over Random Access Memories which was total garbage other than a tiny, tiny handful of songs then you plan the album launch in bum * nowhere, I mean Wee Waa, where exactly where is that Australia?!? but don’t show.

You had better make sure those helmets are hard wearing because I reckon you’re going to have a run in with a couple of fans who don’t feel they got quite as lucky…

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So you find yourself needing a new bikini or rather you’ve seen the latest ‘IT’ bikini and you rush out to buy it. You finger on the pulse sheep trendy thing you!

You put it on the ATG bikini and low and behold it doesn’t transform you magically and instantly into a bikini model with the savviest fashion sense and a hot contract for a beach shoot…it’s actually looks like you took scissors to your little brothers spiderman outfit. And the kicker? EVERYONE is doing it too. You’re cutting skills are not original.

I’d also like to point out, they don’t actually look that good on. In real life – where you live.

In conclusion: ATG bikini’s are a showpiece, they should only be worn by models like the one above, because she’s photoshopped hot and she’s not actually ever going to swim in it.

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It’s extremely hard for me to say anything bad about the Dutch as they’re most excellent at putting their fingers in holes…but I agree with the reader submission that this chap, André Rieu. needs a full frontal Violin in hand slap. Stat.

Crimes against humanity include, but are not limited to:
1. Allowing oldies to think group waltzing is okay.
2. The many smug faces of André as best demonstrated through his website navigation.
3. His nickname is the ‘Mel Gibson of the violin’.

Pictures   The official André Rieu website

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Jacketascape

Wearing a jacket as a cape.

The impracticalities of this ridiculous fashion trend that has found it’s way out of the editorial styling practice (which exhibits all the layers of the look) and onto the streets of Fashion Week, or rather onto every wannabe fashionista and EVERY SINGLE BLOGGER everywhere are endless…

1. Should a slight gust of wind happen upon you. YOUR JACKET WILL FALL ON THE FLOOR.
2. Try wave at another person, hell, lift your arm just a little. YOUR JACKET WILL FALL ON THE FLOOR.
3. Hug someone. You can’t. YOUR JACKET WILL FALL ON THE FLOOR.

The only thing you achieve is to look hunched over and have people wonder about the freak accident that you lost both your arms in, but it left your hands intact. There is a reason there are capes and a reason there are jackets. Capes are for super heroes and jackets slung over shoulders are for romantic movies. For the love of keeping the order of the world put your armies back in your sleevies.

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Sheldon G. Adelson

There are more reasons why this chap is my choice pick for today’s sweltering heat inspired Smug Chump than I’ve narrowed down, international scale bribery, corruption and the fact that he’s currently the 24th richest person in the world doesn’t even scrape the surface of the brevity. That aside. Mention anything about an infinity pool, hell, wander over to Google it and what will come up with the Mantra Bay Sands Hotel infinity pool AKA heaven on Singaporean earth.

Now, Sheldon is the chairman and chief executive officer of the Las Vegas Sands Corporation, and for my purposes representation of the Smug. I can picture him now, sitting there in his new hide bazillion dollar chair stroking his chin, letting out a chortle and thinking, “my oh my I am a genius”.

It’s not that he’s solely come up with infinity pools, no, it’s the trouble that everyone who steps into that pool is immediately blessed with the smug water and trots around like some sort of king of all the land beneath them. No longer do people in that pool abide by decent poolside manner – It’s insufferable.

Truth be told – I did absolutely act like one of those chumps while I was in there last week.

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Elle Ferguson. I don’t hate you. I just don’t, I actually think you’re okay – I just think you need to put on pants.

The fact that I could gather this many photos of you without pants in under 3 seconds isn’t fashionable.
I know that fashion tends to repeat itself but I wasn’t under the impression that happened on a 24 hour cycle. Wearing denim cut offs for almost 4 years in a row rain, shine and freezing cold just cannot be good for your ovaries. Or are they off trend?

You’re nearing 30. It’s time to rethink the teenage festival bare leg look and consider wearing something a little more ladylike, less tatty and oh I don’t know…age appropriate.

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Camilla&Marc

Someone needs to explain what’s going on here…

Camilla, Marc?

…Steve?

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The ‘designing’ chump duo of Lc making up the label Romance Was Born continue to irritate amuse me.

I use the term designing loosely here due to the fact that I think their design process consists mainly of cutting out random images from magazines and then sticking those images onto stick drawn figures. Or just typing the search terms “asian, fruit, pop, colour, CRAY CRAY” (in any order) into Google.

Et voilà new collection! Le sigh.

When applying the last theory to their Australian Fashion Week runway last night…I think you’ll agree they are SMUG at the fact that people (other than those hopped up on their own smugness fashionistas) take them seriously.

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